Corporate Lesson #1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over
which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly
wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the
door, there stands Bob the next-door neighbor.

Before she could say a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that
towel that you have on." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops
her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob
hands her 800 dollars and leaves.

Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in
the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom,
her husband asks from the shower, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next
door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "Did he say
anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of this story: If you share critical information, you may be in a
position to prevent avoidable exposure

Corporate Lesson #2

A sales representative, an administration clerk, and the manager are
walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a
Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only
grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you
just one."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the
Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's
gone.

In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be
in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless
supply of pina coladas, and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I
want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of this story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Corporate Lesson #3

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw
the crow and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day
long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not?" So, the rabbit sat on the
ground below the crow and rested. All of a
sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of this story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
sitting very, very high up.

Corporate Lesson #4

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy"
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and
found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest
branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he
reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was,
proudly perched at the top of the
tree. Soon, he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out
of the tree.

Moral of this story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't
keep you there

Corporate Lesson #5

In Africa, every morning a gazelle awakens knowing that it must outrun
the fastest lion if it wants to stay alive. Every morning, a lion wakes
up knowing it must run faster than the slowest
gazelle or it will starve to death.

Moral of this story: It makes no difference whether you are a gazelle or
a lion. When the sun comes up, you had better be hauling ass.

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